Drifting off to sleep one evening, Natalie was twisting my hair and sucking her thumb, when she lazily opened her eyes.   Mom she whispered, can I have a Korean name?

Sure, I answered before I could stop myself.  I felt her fading off into dreams.  I remembered we had chosen her name so carefully, with such attention and purpose.  We loved it for its sound.  The way it went with ‘Hamlin.’  For the way it made us think of an older, classic time.   It’s her name and it suits her.  She’s just Nat.  Nattie.  Nattles.  Noodles.  Noodley.  Nat-Nat.  What else could she possibly be?

I did a little research.  I tried to focus on Korean names, and their complicatedly meaningful meanings, but kept getting sidetracked.  Simple minds and all.  Thusly, I present:   a collection of the most bizarre names ever legally documented.  Courtesy of momswhothink.com.

1. Captain Fantastic Faster Than Superman Spiderman Batman Wolverine Hulk And The Flash Combined. Some young (and possibly insane) British teenager actually legally changed his name to this long and ridiculous moniker. He says that most people just call him ‘Captain.’

2. Depressed Cupboard Cheesecake. Ah, the British. A charming couple in Kent, England chose this name for their baby. I don’t know if it belongs to a baby girl or boy, but I bet that he or she is currently in therapy.

3. Trout Fishing in America. He was born Peter Eastman, Jr., but he changed it. He just loved the novella that much.

4. Optimus Prime. The Transformers character is so popular that a National Guardsman actually changed his name to this, legally, and has no intention to change it back.

5. They. Yep. Just ‘They.’ He was Andrew Wilson. In 2004 he legally became ‘They.’ Now you know who the they is they’re always talking about…It’s just that guy Andy from Missouri. Weird.

6. Superman. A New Zealand couple named their baby boy this, but that’s not the worst part. The worst part is that was their second choice. Their first choice was ‘4Real.’ Really.

7. Sarah McCain Palin. Umm …they lost, remember?

8. Kayciance Clarita-jayne. K-Séance is the pronunciation, and you would think that they could have at least capitalized ‘Jayne.’

9. Sunshine Deathray. Ok. I can get behind the idea of sunshine. Even rays of sunshine, …but deathrays? No.

10. Aksel. Sure. Like Axl Rose from Guns-n-Roses, or like the axle on your car, or what?


I digressed.  It was worth it.

But, still, I needed a name.  Something sweet, as she is.  And chutzpah-worthy, which she even more is.  See?







So, like the lazy high school student I was in 1989, I urged my students to do the work for me.  You know Natalie, I implored, give her a name!

EunBee, they declared, after much debate.   EunBee is her new name and we shall call her Eunbee and she shall be our little Eunbee…

The name means ‘silver light from the sky.’  It is perfect for her.

I was thinking more along the lines of “Sassypants McSass with Sass Sauce” but she likes Eunbee better.  We’ll see if it sticks.