I read that on a bright pink tight fitting tank top recently, and totally wanted to buy it. But I’m only 40 for another 3 months and from what I hear, it’s all downhill at 41.
I jest! I just didn’t want to spend $29.95 on a tank top. Badass ain’t no stupid!
It’s a revelation to accept the changes my heart and mind have made as I age.
Another case in point: I saw an absolutely deplorable photograph of myself recently – so kindly tagged in another person’s Facebook post – thanks ever so much – but after a second of horrified recognition, I kind of sat back and thought “eh. It is. I am. So what.”
This is a colossal change from the me of my 20’s (the 30’s aren’t far enough gone to reflect.) And it is wonderfully freeing. It is also hilarious from a certain slant. I feel more like I did between the ages of 4-11, when aware of myself, but totally unconcerned with others’ perceptions and just in love with and in awe of life – all at the same time. Every minute of every day! Take away: what I look like isn’t important. What I’m capable of is. Thank you 40!
I am also kinder to myself. I sleep more. I say no a lot. I involve myself only in things I truly care about. I spend more time with fewer people. I read more. I keep my mouth closed while learning the clever and beneficial skill of wearing a poker face. I reflect. I look people in the eye. I engage more completely in things I choose to pursue. I watch less t.v. I am more interested in other people and their lives. I enjoy children more.
The List. Goes. On.
The photograph mentioned above, by the way, was taken as I finished running a 5K with my son Luke. It was his first race over 1 mile. I was proud and honored to be there with him. And I will not always be able to run alongside my kid. But I can today.
It is sad, and I actually feel a bit of rage, that I didn’t feel this way about life and about myself at age 22. Youth, in some ways, is wasted on the young! But it is what it is. And I am. So I say- so what. One foot in front of the other.
I have friends, or have known family, representing every decade of life, including, as of April 1st, 100! So my question is this, to those of you older than me: what else do I have to look forward to??