I like winter Olympics. (I LOVE summer Olympics, but winter will do.) I’m consistently impressed by athletes and their abilities, and always have been. Chloe Kim? I mean, jeeZUM. Awesome in the true sense of the word.

I’m equally impressed, I’ll add, by the athletes who train their entire lives to never medal, to never have their short biographies flashed up on the tv screen, the ones who give their sport everything they’ve got but may not ever be remembered for it. I like those athletes. Can you imagine missing a gold medal by .34 of a second – and having, say, seven other athletes between you and the sparkle? It’s good to remember: ALL the athletes in Pyeongchang are the world’s best. Out there doing what they love.

Sigh. I love the Olympics.

If training hours are all equal, I’d say I’ve got more than a solid shot at some bling to hang around my neck. These are the things I think I’m a serious contender in:

  1. Creative Draping of Plants Over Lampshades
  2. Ignoring the Painting that Needs Doing
  3. Books-to-be-read Stacking
  4. Leftovers Reheating
  5. Gum Chewing
  6. Furniture Rearranging
  7. Squishing Dishes into the Dishwasher
  8.  Obsessive Counter Cleaning
  9. Dog Snuggling
  10. Ass Sitting (a dual event, really, along with “and Mindless Internet Surfing”)

Granted, I’m on vacation. There might be other, more world-stage-worthy events I could be considered for when I’m not in my pajamas. And hey, maybe these events don’t need trial runs or the aforementioned training. Still. I’m nothing if not committed.

What about you? Let’s get creative. Let’s make some Winter Olympic events of our own.