“Because we can, and some cannot” was the reason Susan and I would give, that year we ran our first …
Memory
28 Monday May 2012
Posted in Family Ties, Speaking of Corn
Category Archives: Family Ties
What’s in a Name
25 Sunday Mar 2012
Posted in Family Ties, Pride and Joy
Drifting off to sleep one evening, Natalie was twisting my hair and sucking her thumb, when she lazily opened her eyes. Mom she whispered, can I have a Korean name?
Sure, I answered before I could stop myself. I felt her fading off into dreams. I remembered we had chosen her name so carefully, with such attention and purpose. We loved it for its sound. The way it went with ‘Hamlin.’ For the way it made us think of an older, classic time. It’s her name and it suits her. She’s just Nat. Nattie. Nattles. Noodles. Noodley. Nat-Nat. What else could she possibly be?
I did a little research. I tried to focus on Korean names, and their complicatedly meaningful meanings, but kept getting sidetracked. Simple minds and all. Thusly, I present: a collection of the most bizarre names ever legally documented. Courtesy of momswhothink.com.
1. Captain Fantastic Faster Than Superman Spiderman Batman Wolverine Hulk And The Flash Combined. Some young (and possibly insane) British teenager actually legally changed his name to this long and ridiculous moniker. He says that most people just call him ‘Captain.’
2. Depressed Cupboard Cheesecake. Ah, the British. A charming couple in Kent, England chose this name for their baby. I don’t know if it belongs to a baby girl or boy, but I bet that he or she is currently in therapy.
3. Trout Fishing in America. He was born Peter Eastman, Jr., but he changed it. He just loved the novella that much.
4. Optimus Prime. The Transformers character is so popular that a National Guardsman actually changed his name to this, legally, and has no intention to change it back.
5. They. Yep. Just ‘They.’ He was Andrew Wilson. In 2004 he legally became ‘They.’ Now you know who the they is they’re always talking about…It’s just that guy Andy from Missouri. Weird.
6. Superman. A New Zealand couple named their baby boy this, but that’s not the worst part. The worst part is that was their second choice. Their first choice was ‘4Real.’ Really.
7. Sarah McCain Palin. Umm they lost, remember?
8. Kayciance Clarita-jayne. K-Séance is the pronunciation, and you would think that they could have at least capitalized ‘Jayne.’
9. Sunshine Deathray. Ok. I can get behind the idea of sunshine. Even rays of sunshine, but deathrays? No.
10. Aksel. Sure. Like Axl Rose from Guns-n-Roses, or like the axle on your car, or what?
***********************************************************************************
I digressed. It was worth it.
But, still, I needed a name. Something sweet, as she is. And chutzpah-worthy, which she even more is. See?
So, like the lazy high school student I was in 1989, I urged my students to do the work for me. You know Natalie, I implored, give her a name!
EunBee, they declared, after much debate. EunBee is her new name and we shall call her Eunbee and she shall be our little Eunbee…
The name means ‘silver light from the sky.’ It is perfect for her.
I was thinking more along the lines of “Sassypants McSass with Sass Sauce” but she likes Eunbee better. We’ll see if it sticks.
What a Girl Wants, What a Girl Needs
26 Sunday Feb 2012
Posted in Family Ties
The intensity with which she focuses.
Natalie’s new nickname is Barney. It’s short for “barnacle,” due to her new and extremely intense need to be near – nay, attached to – me at all times. I’m a gal that loves my personal space, but I’m not made of stone: I do relish and delight in her newfound interest in me just a bit. Where has it been the past few…well, where has it ever been?
Answer: who cares? I am loving that I can A.) suddenly do no wrong and B.) now spend hours lounging around snuggling and reading, waxing poetic on just how gross it is to let Billy Thomas* kiss you on the cheek, declaring it important quality time. For crikey’s sake, think of the children!
This week, while I finished up some grading or something, Natalie found she had some time to kill before dinner. She wouldn’t leave my classroom, because, as she indignantly announced, “then I might lose you,” – (I know, my heart cracked just a little, too) — so she set about gettin’ all crafty with her construction paper, glue, scissors and paper clips. That girl does love a good clip.
(As an aside, my only daughter and I share a love for all things that can be found on the shelves at Staples. In fact, ’twas only recently we discovered that we both believe a Staples store is at the end of the rainbow! Thank god for the clingy phase, I say!)
Baby Got Bag
Here – HERE, is the masterpiece she created. A purse to kick all other purses’ big. fat. butts. Orange with black polka dots, a kicky little handle and removal clips for easy-ish access. She finished. She was quite tickled with it. She made a runway of my classroom and proceeded to sashay around for a solid 10 minutes. Then, she had to consider what, in the way of all things pious, would she put in this work of art?
Here – HERE is what she, she alone, decided upon. Money. Lip balm. Music. Chocolate. God, how I love this child.
What Else is There, Really?
Soon enough, Saturday rolled around. Typically, weekends are a great chance for all the kids who live on campus to play freely, checking in with their parents only every few hours. She went bowling with everyone in the morning, but Natalie and I had a date with a new book and a comfy couch in the afternoon. Awaiting her return, I prepared the lounge space for us, even got the hot cocoa and mugs ready to go.
When she came in, her eyes roved back and forth between the couch and the mugs, as it slowly dawned on her that she was supposed to do…something, what was it? with me. Hey, mom, I’m going to go play ‘store’ okay? Today I’m selling my purse.
I was somewhat aware of behaving like a 6 year old myself when I said but…but…you said… And then, of course, because I am supposed to be the grown-up in this scenario, I said well, that makes me a little sad. Why?! she demanded, and then turned and hurled herself from the room, headed down the hall where the kids’ Imagination Mall was built.
Because I might lose you, I answered, but she had gone.
*name has been changed, but if she marries him, this blog is fair game *
Stone's Throw Away 