What’s in a Name

25 Sunday Mar 2012

Posted by in Family Ties, Pride and Joy

≈ 3 Comments

Drifting off to sleep one evening, Natalie was twisting my hair and sucking her thumb, when she lazily opened her eyes.   Mom she whispered, can I have a Korean name?

Sure, I answered before I could stop myself.  I felt her fading off into dreams.  I remembered we had chosen her name so carefully, with such attention and purpose.  We loved it for its sound.  The way it went with ‘Hamlin.’  For the way it made us think of an older, classic time.   It’s her name and it suits her.  She’s just Nat.  Nattie.  Nattles.  Noodles.  Noodley.  Nat-Nat.  What else could she possibly be?

I did a little research.  I tried to focus on Korean names, and their complicatedly meaningful meanings, but kept getting sidetracked.  Simple minds and all.  Thusly, I present:   a collection of the most bizarre names ever legally documented.  Courtesy of momswhothink.com.

1. Captain Fantastic Faster Than Superman Spiderman Batman Wolverine Hulk And The Flash Combined. Some young (and possibly insane) British teenager actually legally changed his name to this long and ridiculous moniker. He says that most people just call him ‘Captain.’

2. Depressed Cupboard Cheesecake. Ah, the British. A charming couple in Kent, England chose this name for their baby. I don’t know if it belongs to a baby girl or boy, but I bet that he or she is currently in therapy.

3. Trout Fishing in America. He was born Peter Eastman, Jr., but he changed it. He just loved the novella that much.

4. Optimus Prime. The Transformers character is so popular that a National Guardsman actually changed his name to this, legally, and has no intention to change it back.

5. They. Yep. Just ‘They.’ He was Andrew Wilson. In 2004 he legally became ‘They.’ Now you know who the they is they’re always talking about…It’s just that guy Andy from Missouri. Weird.

6. Superman. A New Zealand couple named their baby boy this, but that’s not the worst part. The worst part is that was their second choice. Their first choice was ‘4Real.’ Really.

7. Sarah McCain Palin. Umm …they lost, remember?

8. Kayciance Clarita-jayne. K-Séance is the pronunciation, and you would think that they could have at least capitalized ‘Jayne.’

9. Sunshine Deathray. Ok. I can get behind the idea of sunshine. Even rays of sunshine, …but deathrays? No.

10. Aksel. Sure. Like Axl Rose from Guns-n-Roses, or like the axle on your car, or what?

***********************************************************************************

I digressed.  It was worth it.

But, still, I needed a name.  Something sweet, as she is.  And chutzpah-worthy, which she even more is.  See?

 

 

 

 

 

 

So, like the lazy high school student I was in 1989, I urged my students to do the work for me.  You know Natalie, I implored, give her a name!

EunBee, they declared, after much debate.   EunBee is her new name and we shall call her Eunbee and she shall be our little Eunbee…

The name means ‘silver light from the sky.’  It is perfect for her.

I was thinking more along the lines of “Sassypants McSass with Sass Sauce” but she likes Eunbee better.  We’ll see if it sticks.

Love of the Game

23 Friday Mar 2012

Posted by in Common Sense

≈ 5 Comments

At the basketball stadium in Busan, we were greeted by an entire arena full of people chanting, in unison, “K-T, Sonic, BOOM!” It made us happy to come in out of the rain. 

The game was like any American professional basketball game —  if the players never grew to be over 6’2″ and the score never reached 75.  But the crowd, of which we got to be a part, was SO much fun.  It was like a neverending party that everyone was invited to, and one in which everyone participated like it was the only one they’d ever get to attend.  It reminded me of soccer in America.  It’s not the most popular professional sport, but those that follow it are die-hard fans.  Same-same.

Luke missed the game to go to a water park with some friends.  Natalie had the most fun, I think, just watching the crowd and learning all the songs and cheers, which were played one after another all afternoon long, and, for some reason, were in English.  She smiled and laughed the whole time we were there.

Garrett enjoyed the game itself, watching the players, studying them.  What the Koreans lacked in height they more than make up for in quickness, agility and tenaciousness.  They didn’t make it look easy, the way teams at home do.  I love me some Celtics, but the Busan K/T Sonic Boom somehow made me appreciate how hard they were working.  Without pretense.  Without showboating.  Without questioning the officials’ calls.  With none of the attitude of entitlement.

Interestingly, marketing and profit-making haven’t caught on in the realm of Korean professional basketball.  Our tickets cost us the equivalent of $5 each. Noisemakers were free.  There were no vendors, no kiosks, no people with snacks or drinks cruising the stairways selling anything.  Even the small store that sold jerseys and basketballs, that had been open upon our arrival, closed at halftime, and stayed closed, with merchandise just sitting on the shelves.

It wasn’t about making money.  It was about basketball and dare I say it?  The love of the game.  And we loved it.

What’s Up Doc?

19 Monday Mar 2012

Posted by in Strange Customs

≈ 2 Comments

Finding out that a student is absent because he/she is in the hospital should be terribly alarming.   Actually, it’s like someone telling me they’d like a glass of soju with their bibimbap.  It’s just typically, quintessentially, Korean.

(I’m going to speak in sweeping stereotypes now so if this offends you:  kindly look away!)

Koreans go to the hospital for everything.  They go for a sniffle.  A cough.  When they vomit.  For dry eyes.  For itchy skin. For soreness in their muscles.  For canker sores.  They go for ev.er.y.thing.  On any given day students all over campus are on crutches, or have a finger, ankle, knee, wrist or elbow wrapped up tight.  My first question is always did you break it? And more often than not, the answer is well, no… but…almost.  Natalie had a friend this year in first grade who was in a wheelchair for a week when she broke her toe.  They doted on that vibrant, adorable little girl like she had a glass heart.

There just is no such thing as “Let’s wait a couple days and see how you feel.”  There is no “Put some ice on it,” or “Take some ibuprofen.”  Instead, there is an immediate IV for fluids, extensive testing, definite prescribed medication, and an almost certain overnight stay.

But I kind of like it.  Because I kind of get it.

First of all, we sometimes know there’s nothing inexorably wrong with us, we just want someone to say, I’m sorry you feel like shit.  Here, have a cookie.

Second, and I think I actually read this somewhere, the average person is, more often that not, marginally dehydrated — for which, therefore, an IV makes complete sense.  You’ve come all this way, why don’t you enjoy yourself some delicious electrolytes while we get a phlebotomist, down here,  STAT!

Third, and I’m guessing people from all over the globe would agree, sometimes you just need a damn break.  Somewhere quiet – away from the norm.  From schedules.  From routine.  From work.  From kids.  From working with kids.  Wait.  Who’re we talking about here?

Yet.  It’s also weird.  I mean, a hospital stay and a prescription for oxycontin for ear pain that tested negative for infection, is unaccompanied by fever and has no  underlying explanation?  I’m no doctor, but really?

Korean youth do follow the trend with seeking medical attention for every tiny burp and mishap.  The following are actual exchanges I have had with students this year.  Really.

“Mrs Hamlin can I go to the nurse?”

…my finger feels pained and I’m worried I might have slept on it funny.

  …I think I might feel sick soon.

  …I think my knees are feeling a little bit squished together.

 …my stomach is hurting.  Your class makes me hungry.

…the inside of my mouth is pink.

…my fingernail has a soldier inside it.

 …I have a paper cut.  I can’t see it but I can feel it.

…my eye is so red the world has turned purple.

  …I twisted my ankle last week.  To my blank stare, he continued it just starting hurting.

  …my lungs feel too full.

And This —  Me:  I’m tired.  Student:  You should see a doctor.  Me:  For being tired?  Student, shrugging:  It’s Korean.   

See, they know.   They understand it’s over the top, but it’s the Korean way.   It is wonderfully, delightfully and consummately Korean.  Who’s it really hurting anyway?  Doctors are happy to have the business.  Patients are happy to have the attention.  Students are happy to miss school.  Professionals are happy to miss work.  Moms are happy to ….. Wait.  Who’re we talking about here?