Lost in Translation

At the height of laughter, the universe is flung

into a kaleidoscope of new possibilities.  ~Jean Houston

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One of the most awesome, striking things about living in Korea is the joviality I’ve experienced here.  Daegu has proven itself to be a goofy and hilarious place to live.  I love how people, wanting to practice their English, stop me in the middle of a grocery store to say “Hello.  I am fine.  Good day.  Yes?  Huh-hah!” with confidence and sheer joy. I love how motor scooters have the right of way on the sidewalks (not from practicality’s, or Natalie’s, viewpoint, of course.)  I totally dig the decked-out hikers — not to exclude the fashionista Umas; I mean, they, too, impress.  Most of all, I love the attempt marketers and business owners make to translate Korean signs, taglines, idioms and the like into English for those of us from away.   Inevitably, these do not always turn out as intended.  Which make for the most wonderful belly laughs.  Enjoy!

I was there. I saw it. This space IS made of deep love.

Is this nice or … bossy?

Yes. Yes they do.

Happiness … always looks small while you hold it in your hands, but let it go and you learn at once how big and precious it is. Yes indeed.

So sweet. Sweet my Ribbon.

No wonder cats are so confused.

I want a beautiful shop environment!

Eat me!

Find your happy point, find your happy point!

Friendliest. Police station. Ever. “May i help you?” is on the door.

There’s lots more where these came from.  Stay tuned!

What a Girl Wants, What a Girl Needs

The intensity with which she focuses.

Natalie’s new nickname is Barney. It’s short for “barnacle,” due to her new and extremely intense need to be near – nay, attached to – me at all times.  I’m a gal that loves my personal space, but I’m not made of stone:  I do relish and delight in her newfound interest in me just a bit.  Where has it been the past few…well, where has it ever been?

Answer: who cares?  I am loving that I can A.) suddenly do no wrong and B.) now spend hours lounging around snuggling and reading, waxing poetic on just how gross it is to let Billy Thomas* kiss you on the cheek, declaring it important quality time.  For crikey’s sake, think of the children!

This week, while I finished up some grading or something, Natalie found she had some time to kill before dinner.  She wouldn’t leave my classroom, because, as she indignantly announced, “then I might lose you,” –  (I know, my heart cracked just a little, too) — so she set about gettin’ all crafty with her construction paper, glue, scissors and paper clips.  That girl does love a good clip.

(As an aside, my only daughter and I share a love for all things that can be found on the shelves at Staples.  In fact, ’twas only recently we discovered that we both believe a Staples store is at the end of the rainbow!  Thank god for the clingy phase, I say!)

Baby Got Bag

Here – HERE, is the masterpiece she created.  A purse to kick all other purses’ big. fat. butts.  Orange with black polka dots, a kicky little handle and removal clips for easy-ish access.  She finished.  She was quite tickled with it.   She made a runway of my classroom and proceeded to sashay around for a solid 10 minutes.  Then, she had to consider what, in the way of all things pious, would she put in this work of art?

Here – HERE is what she, she alone, decided upon.  Money.  Lip balm.  Music.  Chocolate.   God, how I love this child.

What Else is There, Really?

Soon enough, Saturday rolled around.  Typically, weekends are a great chance for all the kids who live on campus to play freely, checking in with their parents only every few hours.  She went bowling with everyone in the morning, but Natalie and I had a date with a new book and a comfy couch in the afternoon.  Awaiting her return, I prepared the lounge space for us, even got the hot cocoa and mugs ready to go.

When she came in, her eyes roved back and forth between the couch and the mugs, as it slowly dawned on her that she was supposed to do…something, what was it? with me.  Hey, mom, I’m going to go play ‘store’ okay?  Today I’m selling my purse.

I was somewhat aware of behaving like a 6 year old myself when I said  but…but…you said… And then, of course, because I am supposed to be the grown-up in this scenario, I said well, that makes me a little sad.  Why?! she demanded, and then turned and hurled herself from the room, headed down the hall where the kids’ Imagination Mall was built.

Because I might lose you, I answered, but she had gone.

*name has been changed, but if she marries him, this blog is fair game *

In Answer to: For the Love of God, Why?

Chasing Guy up these ancient stone steps (see his tiny little travelin’ hat up in there?) I was not watching where my feet were going and I sort of falooped over – you know;  tripped, faceplanted, took a digger, plummeted into embarrassment.  In my defense, people who are laughing, (you know who you are – Jane!) I was wearing super cute sandals, not hiking boots, as could easily have been suggested by whoever the heck’s in charge at Donghwasa Temple.    Also, for the record, I never did claim ‘graceful’ on my life resume.  Still.  No blood, no harm, no foul, no need of a monk to the rescue.

 Though my husband didn’t notice – my stumble, ever so charming, did attract the semi-attention of a middle aged, thick necked Russian tourist who looked over at me sideways, puffing on his cigarette and blowing smoke in my general direction.  “OK?” he grumbled.  Squinting up into the sun behind him,  I chirped “yup…just offering up a little prayer, you know, for the ground.”  “Unh,” he grunted.  And walked away.   Good times.

I got up, as people tend to do, and kept trudging, albeit more slowly than my trail blazing husband who, no doubt, has always been leading the way when it comes to taking a new path, however steep or…stoney.  I blame it on my birthday.  I’m a Cancer, the antithesis of trail blazer…much more of a homebody, in all respects.  But here’s the crux, I’m also a Gemini (June 21st being the day I made my way into the world, on the exact cusp of the two zodiac signs).  Which means, if any clout is to be attached to the stars’ alignments or moons and other astrological thingies floating in and out of the paths of the planets (or whatever), then I am not one personality, but three.  Cancer and the twins, all at once.  That is why close friends would tell you I’m either the life of the party, dancing on the proverbial bar, or the one playing Scrabble at the kitchen table until the wee small hours of say, 9pm, when it’s time to hit the hay, internal sorority girl be damned!

I lead students, in a classroom, for a living, and I do a fair job at it, if I’m self-evaluating.  I am not, however,  a leader when it comes to doing anything new like, say getting bangs – or hey, here’s one:  moving thousands of miles away from home .  I’ll be in the right place at the right time with the cool kids, sure, but I lurk, take painstaking mental notes, stay in the background, usually, until I’ve got a grip on the way things roll…(hello, Cancer) and only then do I forge forward, inevitably adding and finagling some kind of unique twist (bonjour, Gemini) that only makes it appear that I was the creator extraordinaire all along.  It’s a facade.

Take this trip to Korea, for example.  Because I am the more outgoing, more rambunctious, and also friendlier half of this Hamlin duo, people readily believe coming here was my idea and that any and all of the fun stuff is due to …moi.  Again, untrue.  It took me two full months to feel comfortable taking a cab to Home Plus and three to do it alone.  On anyone’s scale of adventurous this measures pathetic with a capital Pah!  From the get-go Guy was jumping into conversations with strangers, making all kinds of terrifying grammatical mistakes, while I was seething that the bus was Making. Me. Sick!  He was eating bug larvae, octopus tentacles and fish with the heads still on while I daintily sipped at my saltless broth, thank you very much.  He was driving on the wrong side of the road, from the wrong wide of the RV (this, while in New Zealand) as I napped happily in the back.  Wake me when we get there!, I’d yell, and I was out like the pansy I am.

So what are you even doing there, then?  you ask, and have asked, and keep asking.  Oh, how many times I’ve wondered that myself.  I mean – I know why I didn’t come here.  I didn’t come searching for anything, wasn’t unfulfilled, wondering who am I? What am I doing with my life? Are we there yet? as many travelers are.  Wasn’t searching for the meaning of life, or the holy grail or ruby slippers.  The answer, it appears, is much more simple. I’m here because Gemini girl is alive and well and will not be ignored, Dan.  She is 23, sassy as hell and doesn’t care at all if she trips and falls in front of an overweight, unhappy Russian.  She slips the strap of her super cute sandal back onto her suntanned ankle, does a little hair shake is off again…up the steep, stoney steps, or whatever she happens to feel like climbing.

I’ll keep Gemini girl.  I like her.  She balances me out.  She sometimes tires me out, too, but I’ll tell you what – without her, it’s likely I’d be content being the ugly 1970’s wallpaper you remember from Aunt Ethel’s house. Happy to wile away the hours looking at pictures on a webpage instead of seeing the world.   This is no way to live.  Not for any of the facets of me.   Consider this:  if I’d never come to Korea, it’s possible – quite likely, in fact – that I’d’ve never learned the word zoysias: a low-growing grass native to tropical Asia.  And that’s tragic.  ‘Cuz strategically placed,  it’s a whole lotta Scrabble points scored against the man in the silly blue hat walking up ahead.